Breaking Apart
by missnovemberx
Summary: "Well, let me tell you a story about a girl and a boy. He fell in love with his best friend. When she's around, he feels nothing but joy. But she was already broken, and it made her blind. But she could never believe that love would ever treat her right."
1. Chapter 1

**While I adore these characters, they do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

**Breaking Apart**

It's been 2 months since the battle with the newborns and I've barely been able to get a full night of sleep since. I lay awake at night constantly thinking about everything that's happened since I made the decision to move to Forks and live with Charlie. When I do sleep I still have the recurring nightmares about James and Victoria. Things between me and Edward haven't been the same since Italy. While I was able to escape before the Volturi realized I was what stopped Edward from signing his own death sentence, I can't help but worry my luck is going to run out and they'll learn of my knowledge of Vampires.

After the battle with the newborns I went back to Jacob's house to make sure he'd be okay and since the Volturi were coming, Edward didn't protest. I don't know why I was so adamant on leaving with Jacob that day. While I felt as if I needed to be with him, I could've stayed so the Volturi would force Edward into making me a Vampire. That's what I wanted right, an eternity with Edward? I wasn't so sure if I was okay with having that future forced upon me anymore.

Everything with me and Jacob had changed after Edward abandoned me in the forest. The best decision I made was driving out to La Push and asking Jake to work on those bikes with me. I have to admit I wouldn't have minded if he dragged out the rebuilding. I felt a connection with him that kept me returning every day. When he started to ignore me once the bikes were finished, I thought I was literally going to fall apart. My heart couldn't handle another rejection. After I went to see him and he told me to leave and never come back, I felt even more drawn to him like the world had completely stopped once he looked into my eyes. I could tell he felt the same way and yet he still insisted I leave.

Once I put together the pieces after he showed up at my house that same night, I officially hated Sam. How could he order Jacob not to tell me something so important? So what if Jake was a werewolf? I knew he could handle himself around me and it's not as if I hadn't been with a monster. I had to go to La Push to see him and tell him that I knew. Jake fought for me and after our walk on the beach, I felt so relieved. That was short lived when I found out Victoria was after me but that fight ended when Edward killed her on the mountain months later.

I felt bad leaving Jacob to go save Edward that night but I couldn't live with myself knowing he killed himself because I just had to throw myself off a cliff to hear his voice. None of this made any sense. I felt a connection to Jacob and yet I couldn't let Edward go. I'll admit that once I came back to Forks, I purposely avoided Jacob. I knew he was pissed at me and I just couldn't face him, I was being a coward. I had been such a horrible person and yet he still wanted to protect me through everything. If it wasn't for him and his pack, we would've never survived the newborn attack. Jake risked his life and was extremely injured during it all and still he vowed to wait for me until my heart stopped beating, maybe even after. I should've admitted my feelings to him then, told him I loved him too but that would've been selfish because I wasn't yet willing to break up with Edward. However, I have been laying here questioning why I agreed to marry Edward when clearly Jake also held a huge piece of my heart.

I finally realized what it is I need to do. I may not want to be without Edward but I know I could survive without him. I need Jake, I feel empty when I'm away from him. I don't ever want to be without him. It can't happen. He's like the oxygen that keeps me breathing and my heart beating.

I looked over at my alarm clock, it was already 8am. I could hear Charlie getting ready for work and I wasn't going to waste another day lying in bed contemplating my life and poor decisions. I grabbed a towel from the back of my bedroom door and took a quick shower. I found myself blow drying my hair and picking out a cute dress Alice had bought me with a matching pair of Tory Burch flats. I don't know what came over me but I wanted to look hot. I even curled my hair and did my makeup. I've always been called beautiful but that was plain Bella who wore jeans with a flannel shirt and converse. That wasn't hot, it was just comfortable.

I grabbed my keys, walked down the stairs and went directly into the kitchen where Charlie was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. I grabbed a granola bar and made myself some chocolate milk before sitting down across from him. He had been unaware I was even there until I sat down. He looked up at me and nearly spit out his coffee.

"What's the occasion Bells, did I forget something?" he asked, placing his coffee on the table. He had a suspicious look on his face and I knew he thought it had something to do with Edward.

"No. I just wanted to try something different today. Do you not like it?" I asked. I put the last piece of my granola bar in my mouth and chugged down my chocolate milk as I stood up. As I grabbed my keys he replied, "I love it Bells, it's nice to see you coming into your own."

I walked towards the front door and Charlie followed behind me. We both grabbed our jackets and walked out the front door. As I went to open the door to my truck, Charlie asked, "Where are you off to today?" I wasn't sure if I should tell him because he might make the wrong assumption but I wasn't big on lying to my father so I told him the truth, "La Push, I want to spend the weekend with Jake." Of course a big smile lit up his face. I think he knew exactly what was happening but he wouldn't say it. "Make sure you check in with me if you decide to spend the night" He said as he got into his cruiser.

I didn't know if I would spend the night or if Jake was going to forgive me for my mistakes. I took one last look at my reflection in my rearview mirror, "I hope Jake likes the new Bella" I said to myself and I put my truck in reverse. I drove straight to La Push, my hands shaking the entire time. I was nervous and excited to see what would come of my carefully thought out decision.


	2. Chapter 2

**I love to hear your opinions as to what you hope to happen in this story and what you think of these chapters so far. Again this is my first story so please be patient and considerate when leaving reviews.**

While it felt like an hour, 20 minutes later I pulled up to the familiar little red house. I turned off my truck and checked my reflection once more in the rear view mirror. I wanted to make sure my makeup hadn't smudged all over my face or my hair hadn't fallen out completely, that would just be my luck. Clumsy, awkward Bella finally gets up the courage to admit her feelings to her best friend and shows up looking like she just woke up with her hair and makeup from last night. I was surprised to see that my curls were still intact and my makeup still complemented my complexion, Alice would be proud. Even with my constant fidgeting, and playing with my hair on the way, I was proud of myself.

As I turned my attention back to the little red house, the screen door opened. Jacob was dressed in dark blue sweatpants with the words "Abercrombie & Fitch" down the side of his left leg with a white t-shirt. He stared at me with a confused look on his face and crossed his arms. I couldn't help but notice how tight the shirt was on his biceps, if he flexed them anymore that shirt was sure to rip. I bit down on my bottom lip as a memory from months ago played in my mind, his full, luscious lips had been on mine and his big strong hands had been all over my body as we stood on the mountain. I had begged him to kiss me in an effort to keep him from going into the battle so angry. The last thing I expected was to want more than just a kiss from him. There's no denying his body gives most people sexual thoughts but I was in love with Edward... right? I had played it off then as if it had no effect on me, but the truth was I hadn't stopped thinking about it since.

As I felt the effects this memory had on my body, I quickly remembered how strong a werewolf's senses were and that definitely wouldn't have gone unnoticed. Jake was still staring at me, he looked even more confused than he was before I was consumed with the memory of our first real kiss. It had been at least 5 minutes since I pulled up, no more putting off the inevitable. After all I wouldn't have to jump right into it, we just needed to talk and get back on good terms before I poured my heart out. I decided to leave my jacket in the car, hoping my outfit would impress Jake.

I got out of my truck and slowly began to walk towards Jake. As soon as I got within distance, it was obvious he wasn't really happy to see me. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. We were best friends forever right? Or was I just selfish to expect that when I was engaged to his mortal enemy? There were a million things running through my mind and my stomach was full of butterflies.

"What the hell are you doing here Bella? Shouldn't you be planning your wedding to your bloodsucker?" His voice was full of hostility and I didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Jake, I... I missed you and wanted to see you." My voice was filled with hope like hearing these words would change his attitude.

"You already know I miss you when I'm not around you Bells, but I think distance is better between us since you're about to get married. We can't be Jake and Bells like we used to be. The sooner you accept that, the easier this will be on the both of us... not that this will ever get easier for me." He whispered the last part to himself, but I could still hear it. The look on his face was as if it caused him physical pain to say those words.

"I put my engagement on hold Jake. All of this has been too quick for me... We haven't told Charlie and I don't know what I want..." I looked down at the ground. I didn't want to talk about Edward or the stupid wedding that was supposed to happen in a month. I didn't even think about the fact that I hadn't said any of this to Edward. I just wanted Jake to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay like he always did.

"What're you talking about Bella? You were so sure just a few weeks ago when you told me Edward was your soul mate. What kind of game is this?" His eyed were filled with anger. Nothing I said seemed to be the right answer.

"Why are you being so mean Jake? I'm not playing games with you. You're my best friend, pretty much my only friend. The only one I have to talk to. Please don't shut me out now." I looked up, right into his eyes, and for a second I felt better. For some reason my whole body relaxed and just being around him was enough for me.

He must've felt it too because he uncrossed his arms and hugged me. Not some weak hug either, his strong arms wrapped around me tightly as he whispered, "I'll always be here for you Bells, I'm just trying to be whatever you need or want me to be."

I hugged him back as tight as I could and couldn't help what happened next. Tears started pouring down my face. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same way he did. That I wanted to marry him, have kids and grow old with him. I may have been getting ahead of myself but its how I felt. I wiped my tears away with my hand before he could notice but my makeup made it obvious once he pulled away. He held my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "You're too dressed up to be crying like the sweetheart." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I giggled, knowing I must've looked silly. Yet again he was exactly what I needed him to be. I had a big smile on my face from cheek to cheek. He laughed and pulled me towards him again into another hug. It was happily welcomed. I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. "I must be driving you crazy with my mood swings and how often I change my mind. You're amazing Jake. I'm so lucky to have you." For the first time in awhile, I felt at home in his arms.

"What are you so dressed up for anyway Bells, was rich boy supposed to take you somewhere?" he asked rudely as he pulled away from me once again.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Nope, I'm just trying out a new look. What do you think?" I asked as I modeled my outfit for him, fully turning around so he could see the back of my dress which was half lace and was skin tight from the waist up. It was dark blue and stopped right before my knees. The bottom was comfortably loose and gave my body a little more curves than usual.

The expression on his face was priceless. He was clearly enjoying the display of skin I was showing off today which was a lot more than usual. My eyes were drawn to the obvious bulge in his pants. I bit down on my lip as I stared, noticing its size. I blushed and looked away quickly hoping he wouldn't notice. He cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed which was unlike Jake.

"Why don't we go inside? We could watch a movie. You up to it Bells?" he asked, opening the door to his house.

I was happy he still wanted to hang out and surprised he didn't have somewhere else to be. Sam constantly kept him busy with pack duty, patrolling all the time. I was going to ask but I didn't want to talk about anyone else. For the first time in months it was going to be Jake and Bella. No Vampires or Werewolves existed for the time being.

I nodded my head and walked through the door and into the living room of the familiar house with Jake following right behind me. I sat down on the couch, thankful I was still welcomed. "So, what're we going to watch? And don't you dare say some stupid action movie we've seen a million times."

He stood in front of the TV laughing with a guilty look on his face, "Don't insult my action movies Bells. You know you love them."

I gave him a serious look and crossed my arms, pouting like a brat.

"Fine. How about.. 21 Jump Street?"

"Hmm, I haven't seen that yet. I heard it was extremely funny though so it sounds good to me."

I motioned for Jake to sit next to me. As soon as he sat down I cuddled up next to him, putting my head on his shoulder. I hated when there was distance between us and I hoped he wouldn't mind.

Thankfully he didn't. He put his arm around me, picked up the remote and ordered the movie. I thought of all the times we spent in this house and how many of my favorite memories were in this room. It was like my sanctuary. We've been through so much in these past months, more than any normal teenagers.

I knew this happiness may be short lived. I hadn't told Edward I was having second thoughts, only that I wanted my space for the next few days and he insisted he understood. I was thankful he's not allowed on Quileute lands to see what was going on. Of course Alice must've seen a vision of me coming to visit Jacob but she could see nothing of when were together. My outfit may have raised questions in her mind but she may not mention it out of fear she would discourage my new sense of fashion. Maybe she wouldn't even tell Edward where I was.

However, it didn't really matter. My decision was clear, I choose Jacob. Of course it wouldn't be that simple, nothing has ever been simple in my life.

How am I going to break up with Edward? Will he understand? So many questions consumed my thoughts but I'd answer them all on Monday. For now, 21 Jump Street is all I was going to pay attention to. I had my Jacob back. We'd figure everything out eventually, it would all fall into place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: ****These characters belong to the brilliant Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Again I want to thank everyone who has left reviews and followed. You've left some good questions I'll be sure to answer in the future :)**

One movie had escalated into a few. Of course there were plenty included that we had watched dozens of times previously so there was plenty of conversation as well. We only stopped otherwise to make popcorn and order pizza. He told me about a job he had recently started as a part time mechanic at a nice shop in La Push. He went on to talk fondly of his boss whose prices were nothing short of honest. I was glad to see Jake found something close that paid well enough to buy him a bigger bed and new clothes. He had practically ruined his entire old wardrobe when he'd phase spontaneously. I was pretty sure Billy was going broke between trying to feed Jake and clothing him.

Throughout the entire day I couldn't help but compare the connection I share with Jake to the connection I share with Edward.

Edward is extremely protective, and everyone can see how godly handsome he is. There are no obvious surface flaws, I'm pretty sure there aren't any at all. He has an amazing sense of fashion all his own. We share a lot of the same interests and taste in music. Everyone in his family is a great friend of mine with the exception of Rosalie, although I can understand her dislike for my past clear lack of value for my own human life. Edward can give me anything I could want as far as money was concerned. I could buy anything I wanted, travel anywhere in the world, go to the most expensive schools, and live forever. I wouldn't have to worry about sleep, or even breathing.

Jacob is even more protective but he allows me to make my own decisions. Not only is he beautiful, his body is so perfect it looks as if it were photo shopped in pictures. His skin isn't pale white and cold, it's tan and warm. He has a very manly sense of fashion. Unlike Edward, he isn't very metro sexual. There isn't much me and Jake disagree on. He loves my cooking, and would never allow me to abandon my family. He knows how much I love both Charlie and Renee. Not only is Billy a good friend of mine, everyone in La Push is like my family, even Leah. I couldn't imagine my life without any of them. While I may only get one life to grow old with Jacob, it will suffice. I have no doubt we'll do fine financially in the future, and kids are an actual possibility. I may not own a Ferrari, but I'll live the American dream. I'd never given it much thought before because I never felt as if I fit in with the idea, but Jake has made me realize a lot of things I want now that I never would have before. I may not be able to tell people he phases into a wolf, but no one is threatening to kill me for knowing and not being a werewolf as well.

When you compare the two, there is no competition. Jacob clearly wins.

The clock above the television read 11pm. Charlie had picked up Billy around 7 for the Mariners game and called about an hour ago to say he'd be spending the night at my house and they assumed I was sleeping here as well. Of course Jake was thrilled I wouldn't have to leave.

Jake went into his room and came out with a pillow and blanket and threw them on the couch next to me. "I'll take the couch, you can have my bed Bells."

I smiled, "Jake your bed is huge, I'm sure we can both fit."

"Are you sure? Or are you just planning to rape me in my sleep?" he laughed, sitting down next to me.

I picked up the pillow and threw it at him, I couldn't help but blush. Thankfully, he didn't notice.

"I promise not to rape you in your sleep, now go get me some clothes to sleep in."

"Yes princess." He grabbed the pillow and blanket off the couch as he stood up and walked into his room.

I occupied myself by cleaning up the living room. Jake always made a mess of everything, especially when he ate. I threw the pizza boxes in the garbage and then proceeded into Jakes room. I sat on the edge of his bed while he looked through his closet.

He placed a t shirt and sweatpants next to me and sat down. "These are from last year so they won't be as baggy on you."

"Everything of yours is baggy on me. You're more than a foot taller than me." I laughed, holding the shirt out in front of me.

"That's because you're super short Bells, but I love it." He smiled.

I stood in front of him with my back facing him. "Mind unbuttoning me?"

He hesitated for a minute before unbuttoning my dress.

I walked to the other side of the bed and slipped off my dress. As I stepped out of it I heard him gasp. I could feel his eyes all over my body. I unhooked my strapless bra and placed it on his nightstand right next to his bed along with my dress. I hadn't even heard him move but suddenly felt his breathe on my neck as he stood behind me. "You're so beautiful Bells." He whispered, placing his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to him. My heart felt as if it were beating out of my chest. I placed my hands on top of his and moved them up onto my breasts. He caressed them and kneaded them aggressively as he kissed my neck. I moaned in ecstasy. He grabbed my chin with his right hand and brought our mouths together. I spun around as we shared a passionate kiss, his tongue parting my lips as his hands grabbed my ass. His tongue moved with mine as if this was all too familiar for us. I dug my hands firmly into his hair, never wanting this to end. I wanted him so bad but not now, I hadn't been completely honest with him. I pulled away, breathless and panting.

"Jake I need to tell you something." I confessed, sitting down on his bed.

"What is it?" he stood in front of me with a curious look on his face.

I grabbed his shirt from the other end of the bed and put it on. It was so big it would've reached passed my knees if I were standing. "I know I told you before I put my engagement on hold but that isn't exactly true."

"What do you mean it's not "exactly" true Bella?" he asked.

"Well… I've wanted to put it on hold, but I haven't said anything to Edward yet." I was so embarrassed by my actions but there was no way to explain it in a way for it to sound okay.

As soon as the words left my mouth, his eyes became darker with anger. He turned away from me and punched his dresser. He managed to keep himself under control but I was afraid the damage was done and I might just lose him because of my stupidity.

How could I be so careless with our relationship? We couldn't have a good start if I wasn't completely honest with him. Edward definitely needed to be completely out of the picture. Charlie would be thrilled that I finally changed my mind. It should've been a sign to me before that he preferred Jake over him. I wish I would've gone about this differently.

We sat there in silence. What was only 5 minutes felt like hours. Finally, he turned around and looked directly into my eyes. I got up and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could; tears started flowing down my face. "I love you Jake." I whispered.

He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes as if he'd been waiting forever to hear me say that. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say it back but shut it quickly and walked out of the room. I hesitated for a minute before deciding to run after him. "Jake, wait." I yelled, hoping he would listen.

I got to the front door in time to see him phase as he ran into the woods. I didn't know when or if he'd be back. I ran back into his room and threw myself onto his bed, my hands covering my face as I cried. I had been so unfair to Jake, I just hoped he'd let me make it up to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Again, thank you to those of you who continue to read and leave reviews! They motivate me to write a lot more. This is my longest chapter yet 

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

I awoke with a headache after hearing a door slam. It felt as if I had been heavily drinking the night before but sadly it was from crying myself to sleep. I looked over at the clock on Jake's night table it was already 12 in the afternoon. The last I remember, it was 4am and he still hadn't come back. For hours I went over the previous events of what happened before Jake left me. I couldn't help but think of everything I could've and should've said instead of the bullshit that came out of my mouth. Why wasn't I just honest from the beginning? I've never been so selfish in my life. Edward would be crushed when I told him what I did. They both deserved so much better than the way I've been treating them.

Jake is like my own personal sun, he always has been. There would be no Bells without Jake. I don't know what I would've become if he didn't pull me out of my depression. I felt like I owed him the world and this was a really shitty way to be paying him back.

I stood up and put on the pair of sweatpants he had given me the night before and walked into the living room, he was sitting on the couch watching television. It was obvious he was still infuriated from last night. I wish I could just make all the pain go away that I have caused him. As I looked into his eyes I could see the pain, but for some reason I'll never understand, I also saw how much he loved me.

"Are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to ignore me?" I asked as I played with my hair. I always tended to do this when I was nervous.

His eyes became dark with anger, like he was mad I had even spoken to him. "You wanna talk? Fine, let's talk. Since we're being so _honest _with each other, I should probably tell you after you told me you loved Edward more than me and you were going to marry him I decided I'd try to get over you. While it obviously didn't work, I spent my time hooking up with someone else as well. Since you're not so sure about what you want, I'm not so sure I'm ready to end the convenient situation I have with her. How's that for some honesty?" The veins in his arms had pulsated with anger, his breaths were quick and his chest was heaving.

My heart felt as if it had just broke into a million pieces. The thought of Jake with anyone else made my stomach turn, I thought for sure I was about to throw up all over the living room floor. Tears started pouring down my face, and I was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't feel my legs or any other part of my body for that matter. What used to feel like our sanctuary was now a place I couldn't stand to be a moment longer. If I could just make myself move, I could get out of here. I was furious at him for hooking up with some whore, but I knew I didn't really have a right to be. I wanted to scream at him, and tell him he was a jerk for having meaningless sex with her, but I stopped myself. I'd be a hypocrite to yell at him for doing exactly what I had told him to do. I pushed him to be all over some other girl, instead of confronting my feelings like I should have. If I had the courage to accept the way I felt for him then, he would've been with me instead. I made such a mess, and I would have to be the one to clean it up.

I must've zoned out because when I looked back over at the couch, Jake was gone. I walked back into his room and took a piece of paper out of his night stand. I quickly wrote him a note before grabbing my clothes along with my keys. On my way out of his house I stopped in the bathroom to wash my face. If Charlie noticed I had been crying, there would be an endless amount of questions I wasn't ready to answer, I wasn't in the mood for an interrogation either.

As I drove back home, I tried to find a good song playing on the radio. When all else failed, music was always able to put me in a good mood. Isn't it ironic that whenever you need a song to lift your mood, you come across a sappy love song you can't seem to change for some reason? Of course it always relates to your life, making it even more depressing. I found myself singing along with "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars. I'd have to remember to download it when I was home.

Surprisingly, the ride home had been quick. I had pushed the limits with my truck in terms of speed but luckily it hadn't given up on me. I knew if it would've broken down, that would be the end of it. I doubted Jake would be in a rush to fix it for me.

As I walked in the door I saw Charlie sitting in his La-Z-Boy recliner, a beer in hand as he watched a football game. Since I had a tendency to prolong the inevitable, I decided it wouldn't hurt to spend some bonding time with my dad. I sat on the couch closest to him and asked who was playing. No time like the present to make up for those lost years.

"The Seahawks are playing the 49ers. It's an important division game." He said quickly, obviously too engrossed in it to ask any questions about my weekend. While I was glad he wasn't giving me the third degree, I wanted a distraction to pull me away from my thoughts I hadn't been able to escape since I left Jakes.

Three long, boring games later, it was 11:30 and Charlie had stood up to announce he was going to bed. I knew he'd have work early in the morning and I'd have to find something to occupy my day.

I waited 15 minutes before I went up to bed for Charlie to fall asleep. I knew Edward would be waiting in my room for me and I couldn't take a chance of him hearing the conversation that was about to take place.

Edward was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at me as I closed my bedroom door behind me. His hair was a mess and his clothes looked disheveled. I got the feeling he already knew what happened, but I was pretty sure it was my guilt giving me that feeling. Alice didn't get any visions of me as long as I was with Jake and it was impossible for Edward to be anywhere near La Push without anyone smelling him.

"What happened to you Bella? Alice can't see your future anymore; it disappeared a few days ago. I've been worried sick." He asked; worry clearly all over his face.

"I spent the weekend at Jake's house. I was perfectly safe in La Push… but Edward, we need to talk." I admitted, sitting down next to him.

"I'm just happy you're alright. I don't know what I would've done if you had been hurt because of Jacob's lack of ability to take care of you." He said rudely, pulling me in for a hug.

I pushed him away and stood up to put some distance between us. "First of all, Jake is perfectly capable of keeping me safe. He'd never let anything happen to me no matter what fucked up selfish bullshit I put him through. Second, I don't need to be _taken care of_. I'm a grown woman." I said angrily.

"Calm down Bella. You know I don't trust the wolves. Once they get angry they lose control, they phase without warning and you could end up way too close one day. I don't want you around Jacob without me and that's the end of the conversation. Now, Alice is going to send out the wedding invitations this week so we'll need to tell Charlie tomorrow." He commanded.

I ran my hands through my hair in an effort to calm myself down. He didn't even care to ask what it was I wanted to talk about. He simply ignored it and pushed for me to do something I clearly hadn't been ready to do. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and to just leave me alone, but that wouldn't be right. I owed it to him to tell him the truth, and let him know what it was I not only wanted, but needed.

I sat back down next to him, and held onto his hands. "Edward, this weekend when I was with Jake, a lot happened. We kissed, I told him I love him and I've realized I made a big mistake. I haven't felt the same for you since you had left me and I got close with him. I wanted to believe that we could fix things, and that everything would be just as it was before you left but it's not, and it never will be. He fixed my heart after you shattered it and it belongs to him now. It's taken me awhile to admit it to myself and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to tell you. I've been selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings. I'd say I hope we can be friends, but I think it'd be best if we didn't see or talk to each other for awhile. I need to figure out my relationship with Jake and give it everything I have. I haven't been fair to him and that needs to change immediately." I admitted, hopeful that he'd understand.

He stood up and walked over to the window, running his hands repeatedly through his hair. For once, I didn't find myself wishing to know what he was thinking.

"You're just getting cold feet, its okay though, I forgive you. I can't say the same about that mutt though; I'm going to have to teach him a lesson about touching things that don't belong to him." He walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

I pushed him away again, frustrated that he still wasn't listening to me. He always heard what he wanted to hear and I was sick of it. No more trying to be nice.

"Do you hear yourself right now?! You're referring to me as a _thing_ you **own**. I was your girlfriend, not a piece of property! I don't care what century you grew up in, that's not acceptable. Don't you get it? I don't want to be with you anymore! I haven't for awhile, I was just too blind to see it. I want Jake. I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life by his side. It hurts me to be apart from him. I can't live without him. You need to go home and leave me alone for good. Tell your family I'm sorry. I love them, but I don't love you like that anymore. You ruined any chance of happiness we had together when you took away my choice to choose what I wanted and what was best for me when you abandoned me. You pushed me right into Jakes arms and that's where I found true happiness. I never knew love could treat me so right. Please, don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

I hadn't even noticed that in the middle of that speech, I started hysterically crying. I felt the hurt from earlier again when Jake told me about his "girlfriend." For some reason I found myself wondering where he was, who he was with and what he was doing right now.

It was then Edward did what I wasn't expecting him to do. He grabbed my face with both of his hands, wiping away my tears with his thumbs and once again kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry. I get it now, I'll do as you wish but I'll always be waiting in case things don't work out between the two of you. Know that I'll be watching when I can. I wish you all the happiness in the world, I'm just sorry it wasn't with me." He whispered.

I shut my eyes for a minute and when I opened them, he was gone. I walked over to my window and for the first time in years, I locked it and lowered the blinds. I didn't want anyone making surprise visits during the night anymore. I needed to take control of my life before it slipped through my fingers. Breaking up with Edward was the first step. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be as easy as he had just made it seem. I'd be seeing him again sooner than I wanted to.

It was 2am and I desperately needed sleep. My body was too tired to function anymore. As I took a quick shower I thought of different ways I could occupy my time tomorrow. I decided I would attempt to get my old job back at Newton's. The house needed to be cleaned, laundry needed to be done and I would cook Charlie something good tomorrow. Penne alla Vodka sounded perfect. I'd even sit through another game tomorrow if needed.

When I entered my room, I noticed it still had pictures of me and Edward everywhere. I grabbed a box and began to put all of the picture frames containing pictures of us from when we were happy, and all of the things he had previously given me in it. CDs, books, everything needed to go.

The last picture frame on my nightstand was my favorite. It was gold and at the bottom of the picture in script it said, "I love you." I opened it up and took out the picture of us from my previous birthday, placing it in the box beside me. I opened up my nightstand and took a picture of me and Jake from when we were kids and placed it inside. As I placed it back on my nightstand, I relived the memory of the day it was taken.

_Jake, Embry and Quil were having a football catch when Charlie and I arrived at his house. I was upset they wouldn't let me play because I was a girl. _

"_You'll get hurt. Girls aren't strong enough to play with boys. You're too stupid to understand football anyway." Embry implied, throwing the football to Jake._

"_Yea, girls are lame." Quil agreed._

_I had turned to Jake in hopes that he would tell Embry and Quil I wasn't like other girls, and that they were stupid for thinking that about me. _

"_I'm sorry Bells, football is a guy thing. I'm going to grow up to be just like Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas. You can be a cheerleader if you want." He laughed._

"_Jacob Black, you're a jerk!" I yelled. Secretly, I would have been a cheerleader just for him, but I'd never admit it. _

_I ran inside the house and sat on the couch, watching them from the window._

_When they were finally done playing an hour later, I waited for Quil and Embry to leave. Once they were gone, I went over to Jake and acted as if I didn't care he hadn't let me play. As soon as his back was turned, I picked up some mud and threw it at him. It hit him in the back of his head and he turned around, shock written all over his face. _

_I started to run away and he followed with mud in his hand. When he finally caught me, he rubbed it in my hair. We both sat on the ground throwing mud at each other, laughing the entire time. When Billy and Charlie came out of the house to see what was going on, they watched and laughed as we continued. _

_Charlie had been carrying around a camera the entire time I was there to visit. He told us to smile and Jake had put his arm around me at the last minute. I had a big goofy smile on my face, making it obvious I had a huge crush on him._

We truly were meant to be, even as children.

I put the box of Edward's things in my closet and finally laid down, it felt good to finally be in bed. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I fell asleep. For once, my dreams were free of nightmares. Instead, I dreamed of the little boy who had once dreamed of becoming an NFL quarterback, and the little girl who would always be his cheerleader.


	5. Chapter 5

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you! Xoxo.**

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Charlie starting his cruiser. That meant it was 7:30am, he always left at that time because he needed to be at the station by 8. I was glad there would be no awkward conversation between us about the previous day or what I intended to do with my day. He had been completely understanding when I explained to him I was going to take a semester or 2 off to save some money. However, I never did tell him I quit my job at Newton's shortly after because Edward insisted I was taken care of.

Now that I was on my own it was time to get my job back. I got out of bed and plugged in my hair straightener Alice had previously given me. I had never used it before, but I wasn't the same girl I was when she had given it to me. As I waited for it to heat up, I logged onto my e-mail to see if I had any from Renee. There was one from Friday night I read quickly.

_Bella,_

_I have BIG news I need to share with you, but I want to tell you in person. I'm hoping you'll be willing to come to Jacksonville to visit next week. I've already bought a plane ticket for you to leave next Friday. You can stay as long as you'd like. Your father is already aware and has agreed to drop you off at the airport. Call me as soon as you can! I love you x. _

This was so unexpected, but would also be a welcome distraction from the mess that my life had become. I would call her after dinner later when I knew she would be off from work. The 3 hour time difference was frustrating and took some getting used to. I called her one night before I went to bed and she panicked because it was 1am there. Since then, I made sure to call her at the same times every week or just wait for her to call me when an e-mail wasn't enough.

I opened up my iTunes and put it on shuffle as I straightened my hair. Once I was finished putting on my makeup I picked out a pair of jeans, a cute knit top and a sweater. There was no need for me to dress up, although my head to toe Hollister outfit was just as expensive as the dress clothes I did own. Since I had met Alice, my old wardrobe seemed to disappear and was replaced with clothes from stores I had never been in before. I had to admit, I felt pretty in them.

I put on my shoes, grabbed my jacket and my keys. I headed downstairs and into the kitchen to grab a pop tart before walking out the front door. It was then I became happy with my decision to wear my new Uggs. There was half a foot of snow on the ground. Forks' weather has always been unpredictable. While it hadn't been warm yesterday and I was somewhat cold in my dress, it wasn't cold enough for snow. Although when I was around Jake, It always seemed warmer than it really was. Maybe it was colder than I remembered.

During my drive to Newton's I finished my pop tart and sang along with songs on the radio. I hadn't felt this relaxed in awhile. While I was still worried about my relationship with Jake, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders after finally ending it with Edward. I didn't have any commitments to anyone but myself.

Mrs. Newton had been happy to see me, and of course so was Mike. She gladly told me I was welcome to have my job back, they hadn't been able to find a good replacement in the month I had been gone. I told her I would start as soon as I came back from visiting my mother in Jacksonville. I only planned to stay the weekend. I'd be working Monday-Friday from 10-4. $9 an hour was a dollar more than my previous pay, I think it was somewhat of a bribe to keep me from changing my mind. Not that I would have, but now it was a sure thing.

Mike asked me about my engagement to Edward, and I informed him we were no longer together. That may have been a mistake. He was incorrigible when it came to making my feelings for him clear. I think he just didn't want to accept the obvious. I told him I was late for something and quickly left.

It was 12pm by the time I got home. I had stopped at the grocery store so before the week was over, the fridge would be stocked for the weekend with dinners for Charlie. Otherwise, I'd come home to pizza boxes everywhere. I started upstairs, cleaning and vacuuming before heading downstairs. I had two full baskets of laundry to do, one for myself and one for my father.

I promised myself this morning I wouldn't think about Jake, or what he was doing but I was failing miserably. It was a strong attempt, but my heart hurt from the distance I felt between us. I wanted to tell him I broke it off with Edward and that I was ready to start over with him but I knew he would come around when he was ready… if he ever was.

I started dinner a few hours later. By the time Charlie was walking in at 5, it was ready.

"Smells great Bells." He commented, walking into the kitchen.

"Thanks dad." I replied as I placed two plates filled with the Penne Alla Vodka I had made, along with a full load of garlic bread on the table.

I grabbed a beer out of the fridge for Charlie and a bottle of water for me. I placed them on the table as we both sat down across from each other.

"I read moms e-mail this morning. She said you're okay with me visiting her for a few days?" I asked.

"Of course Bells. She and Phil have something huge they need to tell you. Just be ready by 5am on Friday. Your flight is at 6:30" He said, opening his beer.

I wasn't planning on such an early flight but if my plane left at 6:30, I'd be there at 2:30. I lose 3 hours during the 5 hour flight, but I could always sleep to pass the time.

We ate the rest of our meal in silence. Once he finished he moved into the living room and began watching television as usual. I cleaned up the kitchen, storing the leftovers in the fridge.

I decided upon going upstairs to call Renee instead of joining him. We talked for about a half hour about everything that's been going on since graduation. We had talked sporadically over the months but never in depth about my relationships with Edward or Jacob. Of course I had to leave out the Vampire, Werewolf aspects of it all but when it came down to it, that didn't matter to me anyway. I fell in love with each of them for reasons completely separate from the monsters they were. Actually, Edward was the only one I considered a monster. Edward had to fight against his nature to keep from feeding on humans while Jacob was a natural born protector of them. I was terrified the first time I saw him when he was phased but once I looked into his eyes, that fear disappeared. Thinking about it now, I kind of knew it was him before he confirmed it.

Once we hung up, the feeling of exhaustion overwhelmed me. I was happy I had spent my day cleaning and doing laundry, I'd spend my next 3 days packing. I changed into my pajamas and laid down in bed, headphones in my ears with some old blink 182 playing. I barely made it through the first song before I fell asleep.

The next 3 days were long and lonely. Jake still hadn't made any effort to talk to me but I knew that when he was ready to, I'd get a text or a call. I obsessed over cleaning the house repeatedly. It couldn't possibly get any cleaner. I hoped it would last at least the weekend while I was away. I had cooked Charlie baked ziti, lasagna, and chicken cutlet parmesan. There was enough left over food in the fridge to last a week, but if Billy paid a visit, It'd be gone.

It was 4am Friday morning and I was completely packed and ready to go. I had coffee brewing for Charlie, and for once I made myself some pancakes. I was in the middle of eating when he entered the kitchen, I was hoping we could leave early so I could get through security and all that crap with time to spare. Thankfully he was already dressed and ready to go.

"We should get a move on kiddo, it's going to take a little while to get to the airport and then you'll need to go through security and all that stuff." He said as he sipped his coffee.

"Yea definitely, let me just get my stuff." I replied, cleaning my plate.

As I walked upstairs I contemplated texting Jake to let him know I was leaving, but I'm sure Charlie had already mentioned something to Billy and he would've told Jake. If he cared, he probably would've stopped by or made an effort to talk to me.

The drive to the airport was awkwardly quiet. I wasn't sure of what to say, and I didn't want to start any conversation that would lead to questions about Edward or Jacob. I don't think Charlie minded he looked like he was still in the process of waking up.

We said our goodbyes, and I started the annoying process of checking in my baggage and going through all the necessary tasks. Once that was finished, I spent my time in the bookstore, seeing if there was anything good to pass the time. I came across a book called 50 Shades of Grey. I had heard a lot about the book for weeks now, so I decided I'd give it a try.

6 hours later I landed in Jacksonville. Renee was waiting for me as soon as I got off along with Phil. After exchanging hugs Phil left us to go get the car while she and I got my luggage. Once we were in the car, she bombarded me with questions about my flight and if anything had changed since our conversation. I assured her my flight was endurable and I had pretty much slept the entire time. The rest of the car ride home we talked about Forks and my plans for the future. As always she assured me I was still welcome to live with them, but this time she wasn't talking about the colleges in Florida as usual. She didn't talk about any specific colleges actually, I was surprised.

As we walked into their house I noticed there were boxes everywhere. The only thing left in the living room was a couch and a TV. The kitchen wasn't any different. There were plastic cups, plates, forks and spoons on the counter.

"Mom, what was it you needed to tell me exactly?" I asked, curious as to where she was going to tell me they were moving next.

Renee and Phil were standing in front of me, his arm wrapped around her waist. It was then I noticed he had put on a hat since we got out of the car. It was blue with a white D on the front.

"Bella, Phil has recently been recruited by the Detroit Tigers. We're moving into a new house there sometime during this week." She announced.

I was expecting her to tell me she was pregnant, or that they had decided to go on the road again. Of course I was extremely happy for them. Phil had been waiting for this for years. I didn't know what to say, I was in disbelief.

"We want you to come live with us. The University of Michigan is a great school sweetie, you'd love it there." She added.

I finally realized I had yet to say anything. I couldn't leave Jake to go live with her. Forks is my home, and there was no way I was going to leave.

"Wow. Congratulations Phil, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you." I smiled, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you Bella, and we really would be more than happy to have you if you ever decide you're ready for a change." He replied.

Phil and I had a decent relationship, the best I could imagine anyone having with their stepfather. He didn't try to act like my father, even in Phoenix. I was glad he was able to take care of my eccentric mother. However, I didn't want to live with them. It wasn't the same.

"Please think about it Bella, I miss you." Renee pleaded.

I was pretty sure I knew what the future held if I moved in with them. Phil would be gone a decent amount of the time, and Renee would leave to be with him every chance she got. I'd never stop her because I'd feel guilty knowing how much she missed him when they were apart. I knew the feeling all too well. Since I left Forks earlier, the pain I felt as a result from being away from Jake got worse. I would be alone and left to my thoughts too much in Michigan. I may be alone now, but I didn't plan on that lasting too long.

"I will Mom. I miss you too. But I think I'm going to take a quick nap." I answered and walked into what used to be my room.

I woke up in time for dinner. They had ordered Chinese food, no surprise there. I hardly expected Renee to cook, but I gladly would have. All I ate was some white rice. For whatever reason, I didn't have much of an appetite.

The rest of the night was filled with conversation about their move and new house. It was bigger than the one in Phoenix, here and Forks. It also had a big pool, hot tub and even a guest house she offered to let me have to myself. She could offer me anything she wanted, I still wasn't moving. It was then I thought about something that would truly only be a fantasy. That guest house could be mine and Jakes. We could leave all the drama and the crazy world in Forks where Vampires and Werewolves existed. I allowed myself for a minute to believe it could become more than a fantasy, but I was just kidding myself.

We talked for hours before we finally turned in for the night. Before going to bed I checked my phone. No texts and no calls, why was I surprised?

Tomorrow we had planned to spend the day at the beach. I could avoid further interrogation about my love life by burying my face into my new book.

It was 9am when Renee woke me up.

"Bella honey, wake up. There's someone here for you." She said as she tapped me on my arm.

I sat up quickly, surprised and completely confused. I didn't have any friends in Jacksonville, this made no sense. I grabbed my phone from the table next to my bed, it read 10 missed calls.

"He's waiting for you in the living room sweetheart, he seems very upset." She added before leaving the room.

I looked at myself in the mirror and brushed my hair so I looked presentable. My hair never behaved the way I really wanted it to. I gave up and tied it up in a pony tail.

When I walked into the living room he was sitting on the couch next to Phil, talking about baseball. Once he noticed my presence he eyed me up and down suspiciously.

Phil shook his hand and disappeared into the kitchen. I took his place on the couch, curious as to what he wanted. I looked into his eyes, hoping to get an idea of his intentions. "Jake, what're you doing here?"


	6. Chapter 6

**I didn't want to keep you guys waiting too long. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

"_Jake, what're you doing here?" I asked. _

Honestly, I was scared to hear his response. His body was tense, like it usually got whenever he smelled a vampire near but since there wasn't any here, I didn't understand why.

"I felt there was something wrong and when I went to your house to make sure you were okay, Charlie said you went to Florida for a vacation. I wasn't sure if you really came to see Renee or if your bloodsucker took you away to change you or whatever." He growled, touching my hand as if he needed reassurance that I was still human.

I was pissed he would make that assumption. I had broken up with Edward and if he cared at all about me, why hadn't he called or even texted? It had been almost a week since we last spoke. Also, what exactly did he mean he "felt something was wrong?" I mean I could feel the pain which resulted from us being apart, but I was pretty sure that was it.

I threw his hand away from mine and walked out the front door. Renee and Phil definitely couldn't hear our conversation, it was better if they were ignorant to the existence of monsters. As I began walking down the street towards the beach, Jake was keeping a few feet of distance between us as he followed. I wanted so badly to close that gap. I needed to be in his arms again. If I wasn't infuriated by the assumption that brought him here, I would have.

A few blocks later, we finally reached the beach. As soon as I neared the edge of the shoreline, I turned around to look at him. Frustration was written all over my face.

"You haven't called or texted me in like a week Jacob. I left you a note before I left your house which you blatantly ignored. You obviously don't want to make an effort to fix things between us so why do you care why I left or if I let Edward change me?" I demanded.

He clenched his fists in anger, breathing heavily. "I haven't even been home since you left my house Bella. When I left, I phased and ran all the way to Canada to clear my head. I was too stressed out to stay in La Push. I wouldn't have done the pack any good by staying when I couldn't think straight. I ran straight to your house when I felt there was something wrong. I panicked thinking about the possibilities of what could've been happening so I got on the first flight here. You're the one who hurt me, not the other way around. What else was I supposed to think when you randomly left? Of course I want to fix things, I just needed time." He replied.

I sighed. I didn't want to fight with him. I was furious that he was still calling Edward _my _"_bloodsucker_" and how he ran away instead of dealing with our problems. I know I messed up, but I couldn't change that now. In time I would fix it if he would just let me.

"Well now that you see I'm perfectly fine and still human you can go. I'm sure your _girl friend_ misses you." I choked out the sentence which was clearly filled with bitterness.

"Yea, and I'm sure that leech is planning on joining you shortly too. Don't worry about fixing anything between us, there's nothing to fix." He stated matter of factly, turning around as he walked away from me.

"Seriously Jake? I ended everything with Edward. I told him I choose you and that I love you. He even agreed to leave me alone so we could fix things but obviously that's not an option for us according to you." I was fuming with anger.

His facial expression went from anger to surprise. It was obvious that's the last thing he was expecting me to say but it was true. I may have only broken up with Edward a few days ago, but it felt like longer than that to me. He was all I wanted and the only person I had been thinking about for the past week. I rolled my eyes and sat down, hoping he wouldn't leave.

"Bells," he said, taking a seat next to me. "I…I'm…can you at least look at me?" he asked, forcing me to face him by grabbing my face with both of his hands so I had no choice.

I looked into his eyes, begging him to kiss me. I needed to know that he forgave me for my foolish actions, for not making the right choice the first time. He moved his hands down onto my waist and pulled me closer to him, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, burying my face in his chest. In that moment, the rest of the world disappeared. There was no one else on the beach but me and Jake. No one else mattered.

"I swear I was going to try to fix things between us Bells, but that would've been impossible with _him _in the way. I'm sorry. I promise I'm not going anywhere, I'm yours." He whispered.

It felt as if my heart smiled from that statement, "_I'm yours_." It's exactly what I needed to hear. While I cherished this moment, I needed to ask some important questions.

"Jake, we need to talk… without any yelling." I insisted.

"Yea, I know." He replied.

"I need to know… are you still with her? I mean, whatever your situation may be." I asked nervously.

He sighed and took a deep breath. "Look Bells, we were only friends with benefits. We fucked a few times over the last month, but the last time was 2 weeks ago. She had told me she thought it was time we move on and I agreed. It's over."

I should've just let it go after he said that, but I couldn't. I wanted to know more details.

"Who was she?" I asked nervously.

"Can't we just talk about this when we get back home? I'm already tired of the conversation." He snarled.

"You wouldn't let it go if the situation was reversed, just tell me already." I commanded.

"Whatever." He stood up in front of me. "A week after you told me you were marrying that pansy, Embry and Quil were trying to help me get my mind off of you. They convinced Sam to give us all a night off so we could go to Port Angeles. We were walking around when we ran into that girl Jessica from your school and one of her friends. Embry and Jess hit it off and her friend practically threw herself at me. It really couldn't have been any easier. Not even an hour later we were hooking up in my car." He admitted.

So many thoughts went through my mind at that moment. I was pissed at Jessica for having any part in it although she hadn't really been a fan of mine for awhile. I had no right to be mad really, but I was furious.

I knew I would regret my next question, but I needed to know. "What was her name?"

"Ugh. Her name was Lauren." He turned around and walked further down towards the ocean.

"Really Jake? You had to pick the slut of Forks to hook up with?!" I yelled.

"You had to pick the only leech in Forks to date Princess. Don't be such a hypocrite." He replied, throwing rocks into the water. I could tell he was doing it to keep himself calm, though it didn't seem as if it was working. His body was tense again.

I was crushed. The one girl who truly hated me since I moved to Forks had been all over _my _Jacob. She had been all over every guy from our school. The offense and defense of our football team had taken turns on her for the last 2 years of high school. If she knew Edward was now single, she'd be at his house in minutes if she wasn't already.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I buried my face in them and started to cry. I was angry, frustrated, and upset. Only these feelings weren't towards Jake, it was all towards me. I had been such an idiot. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop concentrating on what was in the past. I couldn't change the decisions I had made, or stop Jake from making the decision to hook up with that slut. I could make sure it never happened again, and that's exactly what I was going to do. I was going to make sure he was _mine_.

I lifted my head and wiped the tears from my face. No more pathetic little Bella. I stood up and walked towards Jake, wrapping my arms around his waist as I stood behind him. His body relaxed as he took a deep breath. He turned around and pulled my body up against his.

"I'm sorry everything is so messed up sweetheart. We belong together and that's all that matters. We'll figure it out. It's just going to take time." He whispered, playing with my hair.

At that moment, a song I had previously heard on the radio began playing in my head. I was pretty sure it was by The Lumineers.

_I belong with you,_

_You belong with me,_

_You're my sweetheart._

A big goofy smile spread across my face and there was nothing more I could have asked for. I had gone from upset to happy more than once in a matter of minutes. Talk about dramatic.

I pulled away just enough to look into his eyes. "I know. As long as we're both trying, I'm not going anywhere. That's all I need."

He planted a chaste kiss on my lips and pulled me back into a hug.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before we decided it was best we walked back to Renee's. She must be worried since we had stormed out of the house without as much as a word. He hadn't let go of my hand the entire walk back.

When we reentered the house, Renee and Phil were eating pizza they must have ordered while we were gone. There was a slice waiting for me along with 4 for Jake. It's a good thing she had paid attention to the details I had shared about his appetite.

"While I'm sure you've already guessed, Mom this is Jacob. Jake, this is my mom Renee. You obviously already met Phil as well." It was a little late for introductions, but I thought it was polite.

"Nice to meet you Jake." Renee held out her hand.

"Nice to finally meet you too Mrs. Dwyer." Jack replied, pulling my mom into a hug.

I was surprised Jake even remembered Phil's last name. I was pretty sure I had only said it myself once.

It was funny to see Jake hugging my mom. He had to be almost 6'7" and Renee was only 5'4" like me. This must be what we look like to other people whenever we're together.

My mom giggled as they ended their hug. "Aww, you're just as sweet as Bella's described you. Please call me Renee." She insisted.

"Thank you Renee." He smiled.

Jake and Phil shook hands and gave each other a nod as all men do.

I was happy to see my mom had taken a liking to him. She never hated Edward, but she certainly didn't like him either. I suppose that's one of the only things her and Charlie agreed upon.

As we finished our lunch, Jake asked Phil more questions about The Tigers and where they were going to be living in Michigan. They had found a beautiful house in Rochester Hills they were excited about. Jake and I both agreed Renee would have to come to a game with us whenever they played the Mariners. Of course we'd support him by wearing his jersey on game day. It was exciting to see Phil was finally getting to live out his dream.

Renee and Phil announced they had to leave for a few hours to pick out a few more pieces of furniture for their new house. While they were gone we spent the day inside talking about the future as we watched TV. As Gossip Girl played in the background I encouraged him to get his GED and attend school with me. He agreed he was going to do everything he could to make it happen but I could tell he was worried about how that would interfere with his job as well as the pack. He couldn't leave them completely and I understood that. He needed the money he made as a mechanic too. So we would have to find a school to commute to daily and hopefully make it so our schedules only required us to have classes twice a week. While it may be tiring, it would be worth it in the end.

Our flight home tomorrow was scheduled for 12pm. Phil and Renee were going to take the flight to Detroit at 1 so it worked out pretty well. When they returned around 8, we ordered dinner and decided it was best to get some sleep afterwards. Since the only couch left in the house wasn't nearly big enough for Jake to sleep on, they didn't object to him sharing my bed with me. As we laid down on my bed, he wrapped his arms around me.

"Jake, I'm really glad you're here." I whispered.

"I am too Sweetheart." He replied and kissed the back of my head.

I wish we didn't have to go back home. I wish we could move somewhere alone and start our lives together. Just Bella and Jake, eventually some kids too. I slept peacefully in his arms that night, dreaming of what our future could possibly have in store for us.

The next morning went quickly as we prepared for our flight. The movers were in and out, taking what was left in the house. They had to practically remove me and Jake from my bed, we had been making out all morning and he was on top of me when they knocked on my door. Renee made sure to keep an eye on us after that until we were hugging her and Phil goodbye and boarding our plane.

As we waited for our plane to take off, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were attached at our mouths for a good ten minutes. When we finally broke apart, the plane was pushing back. I gripped onto his hand tightly until we were up in the air. Jake put on his headphones and closed his eyes as he leaned all the way back in his chair. I opened up my book and lost myself in the lives of Anastasia Steele, Christian Grey and their red room of pain.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

As soon as we got off the plane we were greeted by Charlie and Billy. They both had smirks on their faces as if they knew what had happened in Jacksonville. While we were going to work things out, Jake and I had decided we weren't going to put a label on it. The interrogating questions from everyone were to be avoided as much as possible. Our relationship needed minimal outside interference or none at all if possible.

In an effort to prevent an awkward car ride home, we made sure to keep some distance between us as we walked through to airport to get our baggage and sat on opposite sides of the backseat in the cruiser. The ride home from the airport was about an hour so I made sure to keep the conversation about Phil, Renee and their new house in Michigan. Once that conversation ended, Charlie put on the radio. I figured he was sick of hearing about it, and that had been my plan all along.

When we arrived at Jake's house to drop them off, he gave me a quick hug and kiss as Charlie was helping Billy out of the car so they wouldn't notice. I dreaded the hours I was about to spend alone, and tonight when I would have to sleep without him next to me.

As we pulled away, the feeling of hurt from being apart returned. I wondered if that would ever go away or fade as time went on, but in my heart I knew it'd never change. He was my life now.

I raised the volume on the radio and stared out the window, thinking of what Anastasia Steele would've done in this situation. I related to her in so many ways, apart from dating a billionaire with a red room of pain who wanted me to be his submissive. Although in a lot of ways, I had been a submissive. I never really stood up for myself and allowed others to make decisions for me in the past. That was slowly changing but I had to admit, I loved it when Jake took control of things. He must be like that because of his Alpha genes, but it's one of the things I loved most.

"Earth to Bella, we're home now." Charlie was staring at me, waiting for a reaction.

"Oh right. I just got lost in my thoughts again, sorry dad." I replied, opening the car door.

I followed him into the house as he carried my bags into my room.

"I'm going to watch some of the games and order pizza Bells, I'll let you know when it's here." He dropped my bags next to my closet and disappeared down the stairs. I needed to be alone so I was happy he didn't hover.

I knew there would be no leftovers left in the fridge, maybe I hadn't made enough.

I grabbed my phone out of my bag and sat on the edge of my bed. Jake had already texted me. Seeing his name made me smile.

**I miss you already princess :)**

I giggled and smiled like an idiot as I read it, he was so damn cute sometimes.

**I miss you too sweetheart. Can't wait to see you, xoxo**

I plugged my phone into its charger and placed in on my nightstand next to my bed. As I changed into my pajamas, it went off again. This time it wasn't a text, it was a notification about my bank account balance. Thinking I had foolishly lost my debit card, I quickly logged into my account on my computer. There must have been some mistake.

**Account Balance: $25,525**

I refreshed the page to make sure there wasn't. I didn't understand where this money came from. As I thought about it further, I knew exactly where it had come from, Renee. She had told me Phil's contract was something like a million for 3 years but I hadn't expected to receive anything from it. I checked my e-mail and sure enough, there was one from earlier today.

_Bella,_

_I hope you and Jacob had a great flight. We're in the middle of getting situated in our new home. We hope you both make the trip to come visit us soon! Don't be afraid to send an application to a school here as I'm sure you're busy applying for the spring. Keep me updated! I'll talk to you soon._

_P.s. Enjoy the gift we've given you, let us know if you need anything else._

I've never been the type of person to ask my parents for anything when I'm fully capable of working and earning money on my own. Charlie had surprised me with the truck, but I loved it too much not to accept it. I offered to pay him back but he wasn't having it. I suppose I should just thank her like any other normal teenager would do. Besides, Christmas was in a little over 2 months and it'd be nice to have the money to buy some nice gifts.

_Mom,_

_As always you're extremely generous gift is appreciated. Tell Phil I said thank you as well. We'll be sure to visit before or after the holidays. I'll think about the school thing. Jake needs to stay local so I'll probably do the same. I'll call you towards the end of the week._

_Love you._

I quickly sent the e-mail and downloaded some music. Charlie called me down for pizza a few minutes later. I opted to eat in my room. After I finished, I showered and once again allowed myself to disappear into the lives of the characters in my book. By 9pm I had almost finished it, I only had 2 chapters left. I'd have to pick up the second one after work tomorrow. I decided it was best to call it a night since I started back at Newton's tomorrow. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and sent Jake a text.

**Goodnight sweetheart :)**

A minute later my phone went off.

**Goodnight beautiful. Wish I was sleeping next to you.**

It definitely wasn't the same sleeping without him next to me. I imagined what it'd be like if we had our own place. Probably the same as it was for Christian and Anastasia. A lot of sex with a little bit of drama mixed in. I have no doubt we'll be just as successful as they were. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up just as Charlie was leaving, took a quick shower, made myself some breakfast and got ready for the day. When I finally looked at my phone I noticed there was a text from Jake.

**Have a great day princess. I'll see you later :)**

I was hoping that was a promise. Getting through this day would be hard enough.

**I can't wait to see you either :)**

I felt like we were one of those annoying couples who couldn't be apart for 5 minutes but I didn't even care. We weren't really throwing it in anyone's face that we were happy and even if we were we had every right to. It took a while to get to where we were now.

When I looked at the text again, it was sent at 5:30 this morning. I didn't realize auto shops opened so early, but I didn't know much about cars to begin with.

I listened to some music as I cleaned up my room and unpacked my suitcase. As soon as I was finished it was time to leave.

Newton's was decently steady all day so time went by quickly. At 3:45 Mrs. Newton told me I was free to leave. I practically ran out of there. I stopped at the book store on the way home to pick up 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed.

I had become obsessed with these books. I constantly compared myself and Jacob to the characters. We were alike in the strangest ways. The book even took place in Washington. I couldn't wait to find out what else happened to Anastasia and Christian. I yearned for their sex life, without the whole bdsm relationship. I mean I had times where I wanted to have my way with Jake, but it turned me on even more to think of him dominating me.

Immediately after walking through the door, I went straight to the kitchen to start dinner. I decided to cook some steaks, along with mashed potatoes and some salad. Steak was Jake's favorite. It wouldn't hurt him or Charlie to eat something healthy with it.

As I was making plates for each of us I heard the door open. After placing each of them on the table Jake surprised me by quickly wrapping his arms around my waist as he kissed my neck. I giggled as I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. We shared a passionate kiss, our bodies pressed up against each other until the sound of the front door closing made both of us jump. We quickly sat down across from each other at the table.

"We're in here Charlie, dinner's ready." I yelled.

"Great I'm starving." He replied, walking through the kitchen door.

He took the seat between us and began eating. A few minutes went by before he started conversation with Jacob, asking him about his job and what his plans were concerning school.

"Actually, I picked up the book today to start studying for my GED. Bells kind of motivated me to do it." He announced.

I looked up at him, a big smile spread across my face. He was taking us seriously. He wanted our future to work just as much as I did.

"Wow. Really?" I asked.

"Yea, I take the test in 2 weeks. It's just in time to apply to Peninsula College for the spring." He replied.

I was excited about the possibility of us going to school together. What else could I ask for?

"I'm applying to the same school for the spring dad. Now I'll be able to tutor Jake." I laughed.

"That's great. You two bring out the best in each other anyway. What do you plan on studying Jake?" Charlie asked before finishing the rest of his steak.

"Business. I already have a great job at the shop and my boss has offered me a full time position if I want it. I want to open up my own one day." He voice filled with determination and passion.

Charlie smiled. You could tell he was proud of Jake. He treated him as if he were his own son. "Sounds like a great plan to me. I'm happy to see you kids moving forward." He got up and placed his plate in the sink before taking his usual spot in the living room in front of the television.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Jake reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "Thanks for supporting me Bells."

I walked over to Jake and sat on his lap, wrapping my hands around his neck. "I always will, no matter what."

He ran his hand up and down my thigh, pressing his lips firmly against mine. My lips parted for him, his tongue pushing past my lips, massaging my own. He groaned into my mouth as I pulled him closer to me. I desperately needed to satisfy the thirst for more, for him growing within me. My hips grinded up against him as my hands grabbed a handful of his thick hair. He gripped onto my hips, thrusting his own up against me. I could feel his growing erection which made my thirst for him even more overwhelming. He pulled his lips away, breathing heavily.

"Bells, you're driving me crazy. We can't do this here." He whispered.

I nodded in agreement and stood up, grabbing our plates before walking over to the sink to clean them. He followed me, grabbed my hips and jerked my body up against his own. He brushed my hair over my right shoulder and kissed my neck from my collar bone up to my jaw. My cheeks burned with a hot blush.

"I'm never going to be able to control myself if you keep doing that." I giggled, attempting to wash the dishes.

"I'll just have to fuck you on the table then. I have an insatiable appetite when it comes to you." He said against my skin, causing a slight whimper to escape my lips. His hands traveled underneath my shirt, up to my breasts. His palms grazed against the lace material of my bra, caressing and kneading them. I couldn't help myself. I was giving into all of his advances knowing we could be caught at any moment.

"Jake, we can't do this here and now. It's too fast." I placed my hands over his and moved them back down to my waist.

He released me and stepped back. His facial expression gave him away, he was annoyed. "Fine, whatever you say princess." He growled, walking out of the kitchen.

While I wanted Jake in every way possible, I wanted to wait. I didn't want to rush things. It should be happen when we're officially together. I didn't want him to _fuck_ me like he did with Lauren. I wanted him to make love to me. We were way more than just friends… label or not. I had to mean more to him than just a regular fuck right? If we were ever going to have a healthy relationship, we needed to trust and respect each other always.

When I was satisfied that the kitchen was clean, I joined them in the living room. They were watching Monday Night Football of course. The Redskins were playing the Giants and they were getting their asses kicked. From what Jake and Charlie were saying, Eli Manning was having an amazing game.

Jake pretty much ignored me the entire time. He was so involved in the game it was as if I didn't exist. In that moment, I really wished I knew more about football other than when a team got a touchdown. We didn't even talk during halftime. They both wanted to hear what the analysts had to say about the game and which teams they thought were heading to the Super Bowl this year.

The game finally ended at 11:30. The Giants won, 50-14. I thought maybe now they'd shut up about it, but they didn't quit till 12. Charlie announced he was going to sleep and I said I was going to do the same shortly.

I walked Jake to the door to say goodbye.

"Jake, what time do you have work in the mornings?" I don't know why, but my gut was telling me he didn't have work at 6 in the morning. Unless he was on some crazy schedule because of Sam, there must have been a reason he was up so early this morning.

"I start at 9." He ran his hands through his hair, opening the door like he was eager to leave.

"Oh okay. So, I'll talk to you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure, sure. I'll text you when I can. Thanks for dinner gorgeous." He replied.

He planted a chaste kiss on my lips, hugged me quickly and was out the door.

I watched him walk to his beloved car and drive away. I had hoped maybe he'd run back to me first, giving me more than just a quick hug and a kiss.

Did I do something wrong? I felt as if I had just pushed him away too much or something. It wasn't like we could've had sex in the kitchen, even if I was going to let it happen. Maybe he was having second thoughts about us. Had I really messed this up already?

I decided I'd take a shower now so I could get some extra sleep in the morning. I had a bad feeling about the rest of this week. It's like I already knew I wouldn't be seeing or hearing from Jake much.

My days would be lonely, and boring. I had longed for a normal life. Everyone worked for a living, right? Maybe I was worried over nothing.

As I showered, I thought about the possibilities of what Jake was doing up so early in the morning. When did I become so nosey?

I was lying in my bed when there was a knock on my window. The sound made me jump and my body shake. Who was outside of my window now? I really wasn't in the mood for an unwanted visitor.

When I opened up my blinds enough to see who it was, he was staring back at me. I was annoyed and furious he had ignored my wishes. I thought I had been clear the last time we spoke. I opened my window a crack just enough for me to hear him.

"Edward, why are you here?" I whispered rudely.

"Bella, I just want to talk to you. Let me in." He replied.

"No. You need to leave, now." I demanded. Knowing how hard headed he was, I made it a point to close my window and lock it. It may have been a bit dramatic, but I made sure to close my blinds too.

The memory of our last encounter played in my head. It was hard to believe that was only a week ago. This time when I saw him, I felt nothing. I still genuinely cared for him, just not the same way I used to.

He had crossed a line by coming here. He knew the wolves made it a point to patrol my house since I had ended things. I was sure I'd have Jacob to answer to tomorrow. Just thinking about it made me exhausted.

Speaking of Jake, I decided to send him a text.

**Goodnight babe. Xoxo**

After sending the text I plugged my phone into its charger.

I must've fallen asleep immediately because before I knew it, I was waking up.

I glanced at my phone to check the time, it was 8:30. I also had 3 texts from Jake.

**Goodnight honey. Sweet dreams. **He had answered me immediately last night.

**If that bloodsucker of yours doesn't fuck off, I'll have to beat it into him that he's no longer welcome, especially in your room at night, or at your house at all. That's no longer his territory.**

As if I couldn't handle it myself. I hadn't let Edward in, so what was the big deal?

**We really need to talk. I'll stop by later after work. **

Ugh. That couldn't be good.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. **

As I got ready for work I went through different scenarios in my head as to what would take place later.

Either Jake was going to have a serious civil relationship talk with me, or he was going to leave me because my over bearing ex-fiancé didn't know how to take a hint. I was in panic mode.

I don't know why I expected Edward to just leave me alone right away. It had only been a week but it's not like me leaving him should've been a surprise. I mean, if any other normal person had been in his place for the past few months, they would've been surprised it took me as long as it did to end it or that I even said yes when he proposed.

Of course he wasn't like any other normal human being. He wasn't human first of all, he was the walking dead as Jake would put it. It surprised me he never asked any questions about whatever he's heard from Jakes thoughts. I had been extremely flirty with him once he forgave me for going to Italy to save Edward. Jake was amazing when it came to protecting his thoughts, but Edward had a habit of listening to others when they thought he wasn't around.

I knew I need to text him back right away, otherwise he'd probably think I had been kidnapped to be made into a vampire.

**I don't know what the big deal is considering I wouldn't let him in and made him leave immediately. Don't let something so small affect our relationship. Still, I can't wait to see you.**

This really was such a petty thing to fight about.

Fighting with Jake wasn't the same as when I fought with Edward. It hurt me to even argue with him sometimes. Maybe not the stupid little fights we'd have when we were together, but when we were seriously bickering to where we wouldn't see each other, I wanted to hide in bed until it was resolved.

When I had fights with Edward, he'd never leave and it'd take me longer to forgive him but it didn't pain me as much. This was just one of the signs I should've seen earlier. I can't believe I was so blinded by the dream of eternal life and beauty to be okay with not actually living and experiencing true love.

Beep. Beep. This time it was a text from Charlie, he almost never texted me.

**I've made reservations at a restaurant in Port Angeles for 6. We'll leave as soon as I get home.**

I was now looking forward to work. The only time Charlie made reservations anywhere was on birthdays or when he wanted to talk to me about something.

Why did everyone want to worry me today?

Finally, Jake texted me back.

**We'll talk about it later. **

Ugh. Great start to my day.

The rest of my day wasn't any better. Mike Newton needed to learn to take a hint.

"Come on Bella, It's just one date. We're both single, why not?" he tried putting his arm around me but I just shrugged it off and pushed him away.

"I'm seeing Jake. I've told you this already Mike. I suggest you stop asking before he shows up to tell you that himself."

That worked. As soon as the words left my mouth, his eyes opened wide and he gulped loudly. I couldn't help but laugh at how intimidating Jake really was.

He was about 6'7" and had to be around 225lbs. Not only that, Jake knew how to fight, in human and wolf form.

I found myself smiling after that. Just thinking about how this strong attractive man chose me made me glow. He could pretty much have any girl he wanted. I truly was lucky.

Thankfully Mike avoided me the rest of the day. When it was time for me to leave, he didn't even bother saying goodbye. Bless Jacob's freakish height and size.

When I got home I decided I'd shower and dress nicely for whatever this occasion was.

I chose a red dress with black stockings and a black pair of Louboutin heels. I never would've been able to afford these shoes myself. Another one of Alice's presents that had gone untouched for months.

Maybe Jake would join us for dinner. I'm sure Charlie wouldn't mind.

I put a black pea coat on to match and realized I had forgotten to tell Jake about Charlie's earlier text.

**Charlie's taking me out to dinner in Port Angeles. I'll text you when we're back unless you'd like to join us.**

It felt like I couldn't do anything right today. How could I forget we had plans?

**Way to tell me last minute… it'll have to wait for the weekend.**

What the hell? There was no way we'd be home later than 8:30. I guess he didn't plan on staying long to begin with. I really wanted to know what his problem was.

As I looked in the mirror one more time I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up. I was proud of how I looked. Just upset Jake wasn't going to see me in this outfit.

We got to the restaurant just in time for dinner. Charlie had only made small talk with me throughout our meal about work and what Jake was up to today.

Once we had both finished, he cleared his throat.

"Bells, there's something I need to talk to you about and I also have some great news."

See, I knew there was some type of motive behind this.

"What's going on Dad?" I asked.

"Well, I'll tell you the great news first. I've been given a raise at work." He announced.

That really was great news. Not that Charlie was broke. He had accumulated a decent savings over the years. He was a simple man who didn't require much. Although, his wardrobe could use some updating and he could use a car of his own instead of just the police cruiser.

"That's great dad. I'm really happy for you, you deserve it." I smiled.

"Thanks Bells. Now I'm going to need you to be completely honest with me on how you feel about this. It's been almost a year now since Harry has past. During that time I've gotten really close with Sue. I think it's now appropriate that we start dating, she feels the same way. I really like her and care about her a lot but I want you to be comfortable with this as well."

I knew he had been spending a lot of time in La Push but I always thought it was mainly with Billy. He'd mention Sue occasionally, but never like this. It was exciting to see him finally moving on from Renee. Hell, she had gotten married years ago so it was about time.

"I'm more than comfortable with it! I'm so excited for you two." I jumped out of my chair and hugged him.

"Wow Bells, I'm glad you feel that way." He said as he hugged me.

I sat back down in my chair and glanced at my phone. It was already 8. How did that happen?

By the time we got the check, paid and drove home it was 9. I still thought it was decently early.

**Just got home from dinner. I really want to see you.**

He didn't have to stay late, just for an hour or so. That wasn't too much to ask.

I headed upstairs to my room and turned on my computer. I desperately wanted to change my room. I hadn't done anything to it since I moved in. I needed to make it my own.

After looking thorough numerous websites, I finally found something I liked.

I decided I'd paint my room a nice teal. I found a cute black and weight comforter to match. It'd take about a week to be delivered to my house. I'd use this weekend to shop for new furniture hopefully. I'd need to find the time to paint too.

I decided to give up waiting on Jake. I didn't know if he was ignoring me or what.

That's when my mind wandered into dangerous territory… What if he was with Lauren? Maybe he didn't really end it like he said he did or she showed up because she heard we were seeing each other. That girl would do anything to hurt me. I wasn't having sex with him so maybe he didn't want to wait for me to be ready.

I was disappointed in myself. I was supposed to be a new confident girl and here I was doubting myself and Jake again. I should have more trust and respect for the both of us.

**I'm sorry I didn't tell you about dinner earlier. My mind has been all over the place today. I miss the feeling of your body being close to mine. The next 3 days can't go by fast enough. Please forgive me. Love you.**

Even if he didn't text me back, I was content that I'd made the effort to apologize. I was such a scatter brain sometimes.

That night I dreamt of a childhood memory I hadn't thought of in awhile.

_Charlie and I arrived at first beach where a bon fire was being held for Jacob's birthday. He was turning 7 years old. I didn't understand why he'd have a birthday party at a beach in January, but Charlie told me it was a Quileute thing. I however was freezing._

_Once I spotted Jake I ran to him and pulled him into a tight hug._

"_Happy Birthday." I whispered._

"_Thanks Bells." He replied and ran off to play with Quil and Embry._

_I was upset he didn't want to play with me too. I spent most of the night by myself making sand castles._

_We sat around the fire and listened to the old stories of their tribe. I thought of their ancestors as brave protectors who fought against the cold ones before making a treaty with them. _

"_Jake is the grandson of the great Chief Ephraim Black. He too will one day be an Alpha." Billy proudly announced._

_Jake and his friends laughed and ran away to have a football catch with each other._

_I went back to the shoreline to make more sandcastles by myself._

_I had just finished making one when a football landed on top of it. I jumped back and the top half of my body landed in the ocean._

_My jacket was soaked and I was shivering from the cold. Tears started falling down my face. I was so embarrassed and freezing._

_I took off my jacket and ran back to the fire. I could hear Quil and Embry laughing at me._

"_Bella where's your jacket?!" Charlie asked._

"_I had to take it off, it's soaked from the ocean daddy." I barely got the sentence out because I was crying so hard._

_I sat next to the fire with my hands over my face as I cried._

_A few minutes later I felt someone put a jacket over my shoulders._

"_I'm sorry Bells, I didn't mean it. You can have mine." Jake sat down next to me, an apologetic look on his face. _

_I was so happy to see he hadn't done it on purpose. I thought Quil and Embry had turned him against me and convinced him it was a funny thing to do._

"_It's okay Jake. I believe you." I had finally stopped crying and had a big smile on my face._

"_Come on, I'll help you make a new sandcastle." He grabbed my hand a pulled me along with him back to the shoreline._

_We spent the rest of the night doing just that until Charlie said it was time to go._

_I hugged Jake as tight as I could. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again for awhile._

"_I can't wait till you visit again Bells. I'll miss you." He whispered._

"_I'll miss you too." I replied._

_The tears started pouring down my face again. That was the last time I visited Forks or La Push for years._

When I woke up the next morning my pillow was soaked. I really had been crying.

Some dreams have the ability to feel like they're so real, especially those that are memories. What I mean is, it felt like I wasn't really in the present anymore, it was as if I was 9 years old again.

I grabbed my phone hoping Jake would've answered me, I mean there was no reason for him not to.

**I miss having you in my arms sweetheart. Friday will come before you know it.**

Just like that, all of my doubtful thoughts from last night vanished.

I decided I wanted to go shopping after work today. I needed to and I'd fill up my time with everything I could to stay busy.

I called Alice and asked her to join me. I wanted to talk to her anyway. While I was done with Edward, she was still one of my best friends at least I wanted her to be.

She agreed and we were going to meet after I got off work in Port Angeles.

Maybe these 3 days wouldn't be all that bad. I had an idea, and Alice was going to help me make it reality.

I was able to get off work an hour early that day. The store was really dead so there was no need for me to stay. Again I called Alice to tell her I was on my way and of course she jumped to meet me there.

We went to IKEA. It took us about 3 hours but we agreed on a chest and dresser, both black. I also picked out a picture frame which held 3 pictures.

The furniture would be delivered this weekend, perfect timing.

We talked about Jake, and of course Edward.

"He was miserable for the first few days, but now he seems to be getting back to normal. I had a vision that he was going to meet someone new but I don't know how soon that will be."

I had to admit it was weird thinking of Edward being with someone else. I still cared about his happiness. I just couldn't be the cause of it anymore.

Still, I was happy to hear he would find someone else to fill up his days and nights. Someone who would want everything he was able and willing to give. Maybe they would even leave Forks soon. While I loved Alice, it would calm Jake down a lot. He wouldn't be so stressed out with keeping an eye on them.

He knew he didn't really have to, but he was the only one. The rest of the pack and the tribal council felt differently.

Jake and I would be going to school soon. We were going to be stressed out enough.

Afterwards, we went to the familiar restaurant me and Edward had first gone to and she sat with me as I ate.

I told her about Charlie and Sue, how Phil had made it to the Majors and about him and Renee moving to Michigan.

She began telling stories of when she and the rest of the Cullen's had lived there themselves multiple times.

Was there anywhere they hadn't been? I was just happy I could stay silent for awhile. I felt like I talked too much around her.

She tried convincing me to call Edward or arrange to meet with him. It wasn't that I didn't want to be friends with him; I just needed to officially be with Jake first. He needed to trust me before It could happen.

When I explained it to her, she understood. She also assured me she had every intention of keeping our friendship exactly as it was. Now if I could just get her and Jacob to be friends.

I got home at 9:30. I hoped Charlie didn't starve without me.

There was takeout all over the table in the living room. How much Chinese food could one man eat?

As I walked up the stairs I yelled, "Dad, I'm home."

"About time, goodnight Bells." He yelled from his room.

Once I closed the door behind me, my phone went off.

**I've been thinking about you all day. Love you.**

Oh Jake, you have no idea how much I've missed and thought about you.

**:) love you too.**

The next 2 days went by fairly quickly. I had made another shopping trip with Alice, this time to the mall. I got myself more makeup and clothes. My most expensive purchase was a Louis Vuitton bag. I couldn't help it, I thought it was so cute and Alice was very persuasive.

Once Friday night came, I made sure to look my best.

Jake's texts had become more frequent and he invited me to La Push for the night.

I packed a bag to stay over and put it in my trunk.

I decided on wearing a pair of cheetah print Steve Madden flats along with stockings and a red dress. I put a black sweater over it and practically ran out the door. I pushed my truck to its limits all the way to La Push.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart that's still beating. In the pain, there is healing. In your name, I find meaning. So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on. I'm barely holdin' on to you._

I didn't know what to expect when I got there. While Jake and I appeared to be on good terms, I didn't know if he was still upset about the whole Edward showing up in the middle of the night thing.

After this week I vowed to myself that his name would not be brought up unless absolutely necessary. There was no reason for it.

I knew Jake would most likely bring him up but I would do my best to end that conversation as soon as possible.

As I pulled up to the little red house, Jake walked out of the front door. For some reason he closed both doors instead of just the usual screen. I tried not to read too much into it, I knew I was probably over reacting.

After shutting the door behind me, I ran into Jake's arms. We were locked in a tight embrace for a good few minutes. What had I been so worried about for the past few days? The feelings between us were definitely still both mutual.

His hands ran down my back to my thighs and pulled me up so he was holding me. I held his face in my hands and pulled it towards my own, sealing my mouth over his. His lips were firm and the pressure he exerted was gentle. His lips instantly parted, I dipped my tongue inside his mouth, tasting him in long leisurely licks as our tongues danced together. I ran my hands through his hair as our kiss deepened.

When we finally pulled apart we were both panting, breathless.

"Hello to you too Bells." He smiled.

"What can I say? I missed you." I giggled.

"Maybe we should be apart more often." He grinned.

I laughed, kissing his neck up to his ear. "We don't need to be apart for you to get more of that which you'd know if we saw each other more often." I whispered.

"You're killing me here. Maybe I should just tell our guests to go home so we can be alone." He laughed, placing me back down in front of him.

"Guests? Who's here?" I asked.

"That's what I needed to tell you… Embry's here and he brought Jess. I know you're not really friends but I warned her you were coming over and that she needed to be nice." He replied, intertwining our fingers together.

"Ugh. I really wish her and Lauren would both just disappear."

It's not as if her and Embry were dating, they were using each other for sex. What business did she have here? I've had enough of both of them.

"Believe me, so do I. That girl is crazy." He agreed.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to hope she leaves sooner than later." I shrugged.

He nodded, leading me into the house. When we walked into the living room, Embry jumped up and pulled me into a big hug.

"Bells! I've missed you." He yelled.

I laughed, wrapping my arms around him to reciprocate.

"I've missed you too Em. Has it been that long?"

"Just a few weeks, seems like forever though."

He pulled away and rejoined Jessica on the couch. She had a horrified look on her face like she either didn't expect me to show up or she didn't think I was close with anyone other than Jake.

It made me smile to see she had underestimated me. Even if I did know she was going to be here earlier, I still would've come. This is my sanctuary, not hers. Hers would most likely be Embry's bed, this month anyway.

I sat on the couch next to Embry as Jake flipped through different channels on the TV to find something to watch. After going through every channel twice, he finally settled on MTV. Awkward reruns were on. Jake sat down next to me and put his arm around my waist, pulling me towards him.

The name seemed fitting for this current situation I was in. It was also very funny.

As we watched the show, Embry made comparisons of Jenna to me and joked about her boyfriend being named Jake. When Jenna picked Matty in the end, he laughed and said maybe Jake was actually more like Matty.

I didn't like my life being compared to a scripted TV show but I laughed along with him anyway. I had to laugh about this twisted love triangle somehow I suppose.

It was impossible to stay mad at Embry regardless. While he wasn't as tall or built as Jake, he was also really beautiful. He could do so much better than Jess but while he waited for his imprint, I'm not sure he cared.

For some reason, we had been the only 2 talking the entire time. The more we laughed and talked, Jake seemed to get colder and more distant.

"Maybe we should just leave you two alone." Jessica snarled.

I turned toward her, giving her a dirty look. "Maybe if you joined in on the conversation instead of just sitting there with your arms crossed, pouting we wouldn't be the only two enjoying ourselves." I bit back.

"What're you trying to say Bella?" Jake asked angrily.

I was annoyed Jake took offense to what was clearly directed at Jess.

I turned towards him, and rubbed his thigh.

"I didn't mean you sweetie. I'm sorry." I don't know why I apologized, but I figured maybe it'd prevent a fight.

"Whatever, this is lame. I'm leaving Embry. We should go. I'm going to hang out with Lauren if you'd like to come as well Jake. I'm sure she wants to see and talk to you." Jessica stood up and started walking towards the door.

"I'm good staying here. You know your way out." Embry called after her.

I couldn't hold it in, I burst out laughing. I don't know what I found so funny. Maybe it was the way she just expected Embry to follow her like a lost puppy, or the way she thought of herself so highly when she didn't even show herself respect. No girl who casually sleeps with a guy does.

It made no sense for me to be laughing when really, I was infuriated.

Jake just sat there, shaking his head. He looked as if he was thinking really hard about something. I was scared he was actually debating leaving.

"Are you really thinking about going with her right now?" I snarled.

He looked right at me, making a tight fist with his hands.

"Of course I'm not. Haven't we been over this a million times already? It's getting old." He got up and walked into his room, slamming the door behind him.

As always our time together had a great start with a rough patch. Would we ever get through a day without a fight? I just couldn't help but think there was a reason behind what Jess said. Why would Lauren want to see or speak to Jake when they ended things?

"He just needs to cool off. Wanna go for a walk Bells?" Embry asked.

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, Jake was losing his temper over everything recently. Still, I didn't want to just sit here and wait for him to calm down, so I agreed.

As we left Jakes house, Embry started telling me of everything that had went on during the 2 months me and Jake hadn't talked much. He apologized for his role in getting Jake and Lauren together.

He confirmed what I had thought all along about him and Jess' relationship. He didn't like her, in fact if they weren't having sex, he didn't want to be around her.

"She's one of the dumbest girls I've ever talked to. I really don't know what I was thinking, but thank god she's not my imprint." He laughed.

He went on to tell me about how normal it now felt when he phased. He was learning to keep more of his thoughts to himself as Jake did. When we finally made it to first beach, we walked down to a long amount of huge rocks which were like a bridge going out into the water.

As we sat on them, I stared out at the ocean. The memory of seeing Victoria's fire red hair floating as Jake pulled me out played in my mind. It was one of the most confusing and terrifying moments in my life.

I didn't notice I was shaking until Embry grabbed my hand. I jumped at the contact. Embry has touched me more today than he ever did before.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yea I'm fine, just daydreamed there for a moment. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me for something so silly. You're just all over the place today, one minute you're laughing, the next you look as if you're about to cry. Everything is going to be alright." He was being so comforting, it was exactly what I needed.

I leaned up against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I was happy when he wrapped his arm around me, holding me close.

It wasn't the same kind of embrace I would get from Jake, it was strictly friendly. While it may not look that way to someone else, but it was clear we both knew what it was. He was one of the last people I would've thought of becoming close friends with, but I was happy to have him.

"Just be patient with him Bells, he's under a lot of stress. He loves you, we all do."

"Thank you Embry, you're a great buddy." I smiled.

We sat there just like that for a half hour, talking about our futures. Embry was content with it being his destiny to stay in La Push to protect his family and friends. He didn't enjoy school, so college hadn't been much of a thought. He wasn't sure he would imprint, but he wasn't against it either.

"I know some people feel as if it makes you a slave to someone else, but I can't imagine what's so bad about having someone who truly loves you unconditionally. Like you and Jake." He explained.

Had Jake imprinted on me? He hadn't told me he has. Wouldn't I have felt it too, or were some of the feelings I've had because of that?

"J-Jake told you he imprinted on me?" I asked, looking up at him.

He looked terrified, as if he just revealed something he wasn't supposed to.

"Oh, I don't know. I was just uh, talking about how it appears to be between you two. You've been through a lot together and yet you're still willing to be with each other no matter what." He had quickly recovered from what appeared to be a lapse in judgment with the words he had chosen.

I don't think I'd feel any different if Jake had told me he imprinted. I mean, we fell in love way before he started phasing into a giant wolf.

When it starting getting dark we decided it was best to head back.

Embry walked me to Jake's front door before giving me a hug goodbye and heading home. Who knows what I was about to walk in to find. Maybe Jake took Jess up on her offer, or maybe he wasn't going to talk to me again. It could be world war 3 when I walked in for all I knew.

When I entered the house, Jake was sitting on the couch, watching Die Hard.

He looked up at me and motioned for me to join him. Without a word I cuddled up next to him, laying my head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around me. He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, and another on my forehead.

"Promise you'll always come back to me, no matter what happens." He whispered.

"I promise. How could I survive without my sun?" I whispered and kissed his cheek.

I wasn't sure what had been causing him to get angry and upset so quickly recently, but I didn't want to ruin this moment. Whatever it was, we would figure it out, we always have.

Our relationship may not be perfect, but it would get better in time.

Jacob Black was my life now and I was his. I couldn't ask for anything more.


End file.
